Bastobota without reality chara

There leaved a happy family in a small village near Sylhet. Jamil, Boshir and Wasim were the three sons living with their parents. After the liberation war in 1971, all three sons moved to Middle East to earn money for them and for their parents as their house and property were destroyed in the war and local member took away all the lands they had.

It was hard for the sons to work and send money to home. They worked very hard to bring smile to theirs parents. With the good grace of Allah, all the three sons prospered within 30 years. Recently they meet at Dubai where Jamil, the eldest one has a 5 star hotel and a resort. They were discussing about the gifts they were able to give their parents. Jamil said “I built a big house for our Abba and Amma in Sylhet."

Boshir, the second one said, "I sent them a Mercedes with a driver."

Wasim, the third one said with a smile "I've got you both beat. You know how Abba & Amma enjoy the holy Quran, and you know they can't see very well. I sent her a brown Parrot that can recite the entire Quran .It took 20 Moulobhis 12 years to teach the parrot. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 12 years, but it was worth it. Abba, Amma just has to name the chapter and the verse, and the parrot will recite it."

Soon thereafter, their parents sent out their letters of thanks to the sons. "Jamil", they wrote to the first son. "The house you built is huge. We live in only one room, but we have to clean the whole house."

"Boshir" they wrote her second son. "We are too old to travel. We stay home all the time, so we never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

“Dearest Wasim,” they wrote to the third son, "You were the only son to have the good sense to know what your parents like. That chicken was delicious!"



Moral of the story: I would like to hear it from you people.

We Bengalis do have some unique and typical style of expressing our inner motions. These comments (below) are based on our real life experiences, which have been taken from our conversations & put together by someone who left this country for good (good luck bro). See if these can recall your typical & unique Bangladeshi style (!?!):

You know you are Bangladeshi when:


* When you tell your parents you got 98% marks in an exam, and they ask you what happened to the other 2%?

* You make tea in a saucepan

* Your elder brothers are always right (though they talk stupid all the time)

* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobe

* You have an old but still operating 'Singer' sewing machine at home (this is mighty true)

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn't talk
to her for ten years

* Your elders push the moral that honesty is the best policy but can’t came up with a valid example.

* Your cousin did not marry her boyfriend because he did not have a house in Dhaka; she marries a well-qualified engineer instead.

* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle" or "auntie"

* You hide everything from your parents

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male

* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city

* You study or attempt to study medicine or engineering at university and nothing else

* You weren’t that intelligent so you studied Computer science or business instead (hey!!)

* You still come back home after finishing University to live with your parents

* You know no one who has studied music, but every one thinks he or she is a professional singer

* You eat kacha morich and salt with everything

* You fight over who pays the dinner bill

* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents

* You order deshi food in English language to impress the people you're with but the waiters don't have a clue what you are talking about

* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex

* You secure your baggage with a rope

* You're walking out of customs at the airport and you see all possible members of your family who have come to pick you up (this is so true man)

* You get very upset and think life's unfair when an airline refuses to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs overweight!

* After some years abroad, You go back to your parents' village and people treat you like a member of the royal family

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles just to get to school

* You are complaining about rickshaws when you are in a car and vice versa

* You have annoying nicknames that stick to u forever no matter how hard u try to get rid of it

* Your fufus measure wealth only in gold and diamonds

* Elders of the family push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try to demonstrate how well it works whenever they're not fighting

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor or engineer

* While living abroad, your parents always say, "It's cheaper in Bangladesh"

If you got some of your own, let me know.

I received 1 sms last night. It said “some criminal gang kidnapped players of Bangladesh cricket team. The gang asked for taka 50 cr. If demand not met, they’ll burn all cricketers with kerosene. Please contribute. I gave 5 liters of kerosene!”.

Well, well; how funny was that!
It is somewhat an appropriate demand of burning down the cricketers after their terrible performance in Sri Lanka tour. We can do another thing; we can hand over the cricketers to brutal Tamil guerillas to tear them apart. I am sure the guerillas will play an unofficial test match with them before torturing them and obviously guerillas will win the match in 3 days with 10 wickets in hand. Hey hang on………Cricketers gave us joy in some occasions when they beat Australia, Pakistani rapists, Indian Media assholes and Zimbabwe (they can’t even catch a cricket ball for god’s sake). Numbers dude numbers. How many times did this happen and how many times we covered our face in shame? If a good team can’t produce good cricket any particular day & our cricketers shine well on the very same day---------Waalaaa, we get a winning performance. Audience has to wait for such a day for a long time man. Playing with Zimbabwe is an exception. We really have a realistic chance of winning with them.

The point to ponder is consistency. Losing doesn’t matter really; humiliating defeat is what kills our pride as a nation. Cricketers should put up a fight in every game they play. Losing by 3 / 4 wickets or by 30/40 runs is quite okay for a side, which is still learning. Our lousy cricketers lose by 8/9 wickets and over 100 runs quite often in ODIs. Talking about test match……holy crab, innings defeat is regularity! NOOOO, that’s not accepted over here dudes.

We let commentators and foreign newspapers humiliate us on every occasion our team plays. Atahar Ali does carry out a good job by defending Bangladesh. But without a good performance and in the legacy of losing matches by innings, he fails to prove his point. We the audience see the humiliation in nation & international TV. Do the cricketers have the rights to do this with us? I think not. Cricket board’s monthly expenditure is 50 lacks taka. In a simple calculation, yearly expenditure hits 6 cr. What for? For letting the nation get disgraced in front of the cricket world? I witnessed an interview of pacer Sayad Rassul after Sri Lanka tour, where he said he is proud of his achievements and will try to continue the same in future. The bowling attack could not let Sri Lanka bat for the 2nd innings in both the tests! If he is proud of his achievements, he must play cricket in Mohollas to boost up his spirit. Habibul Bashar’s comments are rather josh. He knows what he is capable of and after a bad performance he is bold enough to be responsible for it. I think we do have a josh captain. But nothing else. All these moron cricketers MUST allegorize to the nation for their miserable performance publicly.

Playing with Kenya, Holland, Ireland, Zimbabwe, Canada extensively might be considered. Playing with AUS,IND n’ ENG is way high at the moment. Another food for thought, if a test match is over within 3 days, no match fees, and if ends in 4 days, 50% match fee fined.

Cricket board is trying to spread the coaching throughout the country; initiatives are being taken to extend the league outside Dhaka. May be in ten years time we will fight back with proper infrastructure. I AM SAVING MY KEROSENE TILL THAN.

October 3, 2005